What is it that stops us from pursuing our dreams? Going for that promotion, accepting that public speaking engagement or even asking someone out on a date.
Could it be that our dreams are too big? Maybe we are not qualified for the job or don’t know enough about the topic to speak on it.
Thoughts like what if I go for the promotion and don’t get it, everyone will know, and I’ll look stupid, or that person is not out my league and probably wouldn’t even be interested in me.
Some people have imagined themselves speaking in front of an audience and felt good. But then self-doubt creeps in and along come thoughts like what if I get up on that stage and forget what I’m supposed to say and end up making a complete fool of myself?
When people find themselves in situations where self-doubt has crept in, they usually put it down to lack of confidence, “If only I were as confident as Jane I’d be able to do that” or “John is so confident wish I was more like him.”
What is confidence? It’s the thing we think we’ve lost when we doubt ourselves. There are even some people who don’t believe they ever had it.
The definition of self-confidence is – a characteristic of believing firmly in your own abilities and strengths.
Where does confidence come from? Do we only have it if we are smart or charismatic? Or could it be that we all come ready made with everything we need for this life?
Think about it, cute little Hugo utters its first word, thinks he’s got this down to a T he says daddy and everyone laughs. They all think it’s so sweet but have absolutely no idea what he said. Little Hugo takes it on the chin. He has no thinking about the laughter or the fact that he wasn’t understood. He keeps talking his way until eventually, he is understood.
Babies aren’t told when to start crawling or pulling themselves up and walking around the furniture. I can’t swear to it, but I don’t think babies sit there thinking, I don’t have the confidence to do that walking thing. I’ll never be as good as mummy or daddy, guess I’ll give it a miss.
One of the gifts we use very early in life is confidence, sadly, we grow up, we become self-conscious and start worrying about our appearance and what other people think of us. We put limitations on ourselves and compare ourselves to other people, which is actually pointless because, as human beings we are all unique.
Unlike little Hugo, we grown-ups tend to talk ourselves out of doing things that we are perfectly capable of doing. We create stories in our heads about how incompetent we are when we’ve completely bought into the story we then act as if it’s true.
Some people claim to have lost their confidence, but It’s not something tangible, so how can you lose it? Where would it go?
We are all born with confidence, and it’s not possible to lose it. All that happens is we’ve hidden it under a lot of self-doubt and other negative thoughts, and if it stays hidden for a while, we simply forget how to use it.
Contact me if you would like to find out how you can break through the self-doubt and negative thoughts to regain the use of your self-confidence.